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Jokes
Apr 21, 2006 20:05:46 GMT -5
Post by Jake on Apr 21, 2006 20:05:46 GMT -5
Why wasn't Jesus born in Arkansas?
God couldn't find three wise men.
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Jokes
Apr 22, 2006 8:11:09 GMT -5
Post by MuddnMason on Apr 22, 2006 8:11:09 GMT -5
lol
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Jokes
Apr 22, 2006 9:25:08 GMT -5
Post by Jake on Apr 22, 2006 9:25:08 GMT -5
How many Lawyers does it take to wallpaper a small room?
Usually about two, if you slice them thin enough.
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Jokes
Apr 25, 2006 15:56:24 GMT -5
Post by Jake on Apr 25, 2006 15:56:24 GMT -5
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, Got stuck, huh? The truck driver says, No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.
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Jokes
Apr 25, 2006 20:10:24 GMT -5
Post by foremanbeast on Apr 25, 2006 20:10:24 GMT -5
what do blondes and tornadoes have incommon?
they both suck and blow real hard and in the end they end up taking your house.
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Jokes
Apr 25, 2006 20:14:44 GMT -5
Post by foremanbeast on Apr 25, 2006 20:14:44 GMT -5
how do you comfuse a blonde for about an hour?
putt her in a circle room and tell her to find a corner.
what do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
last years hid-and-seek champion.
why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
to see what was on the other side.
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Jokes
Apr 25, 2006 23:20:27 GMT -5
Post by TechForeman on Apr 25, 2006 23:20:27 GMT -5
how do you drown a blonde?
put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool
The smart blonde
This blonde was on her way home and was planning on sleeping the entire flight home. Well as luck would have it, some big CEO sat next to her and wanted to talk. she told him that she planned on sleeping the entire way home. He told her that he wanted to play a game with her. he said "I ask you something and if you cant figure it out then you owe me $5, and then you ask me something and if i cant figure it out i owe you $5" well of course she declined. then he said i will give you $500 if i cant figure it out and you can still give me $5. she agreed to play his game. He asked"what is the capital of India?" she thought for a minute and gave him $5. then she asked him,"what goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3?" well he thought a minute, then got on his laptop and googled it, called everyone he knew, then after about 30 minutes he gave up and gave her $500. she took the money then turned to go to sleep. and the CEO asks her, "Well what goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3?" She reached into her purse handed him 5 more dollars then goes to sleep.
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Jokes
Apr 26, 2006 17:13:44 GMT -5
Post by Jake on Apr 26, 2006 17:13:44 GMT -5
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
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Jokes
Apr 26, 2006 19:10:38 GMT -5
Post by MuddnMason on Apr 26, 2006 19:10:38 GMT -5
SMART BLONDES AND BROCCLI WERE FUNNY!
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Jokes
Apr 27, 2006 18:30:12 GMT -5
Post by Jake on Apr 27, 2006 18:30:12 GMT -5
A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles! Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later." "That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to." "Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted. "Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it." After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset." "Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?" "Under the wagon!"
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Jokes
Apr 29, 2006 10:09:59 GMT -5
Post by TechForeman on Apr 29, 2006 10:09:59 GMT -5
what do you get when you mix and onion with a mule?
a peice of ass that will bring a tear to your eye
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Jokes
Apr 29, 2006 11:11:31 GMT -5
Post by Jake on Apr 29, 2006 11:11:31 GMT -5
There was an engineer, manager and programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control. Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowing avoiding going over a cliff. They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed. The manager said "To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through a process of continuous improvement, develop a solution." The engineer said "No that would take too long, and besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it." The programmer said "I think you're both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again."
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Jokes
May 1, 2006 22:55:30 GMT -5
Post by TechForeman on May 1, 2006 22:55:30 GMT -5
There was an accountant, a LSU fan, and a La.Tech engineering student. they all stumbled upon a magic lamp. well they rubbed the lamp and out came a genie. The genie told them he only grants 3 wishes and since there were 3 of them the get on apiece. So the accountant thought hard and said that he wanted to own all of the banks. so the genie handed him a piece of paper, and it was a deed for every bank. Then he turned to the LSU fan and asked him what he wanted. he thought and said "I want a great big wall built around LSU to keep all of the people that hate LSU out of it." The genie blinked and a wall was built around it. then the genie asked the Tech engineer what he wanted and he asked the genie to tell him about this wall and the genie replied "it is 2 miles high, 500 feet thick. nothing can get in or out." and upon hearing that, the engineer said "good, fill it with water!"
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Jokes
May 13, 2006 9:00:30 GMT -5
Post by Jake on May 13, 2006 9:00:30 GMT -5
What's the ratio of an igloo's diameter to it's circumference? Eskimo Pi
What is two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? Won-Ton
What is half of a large intestine? One semicolon
What is are two thousand mocking birds? Two Kilimockingbirds
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Jokes
Nov 8, 2006 14:44:13 GMT -5
Post by TechForeman on Nov 8, 2006 14:44:13 GMT -5
How does Micheal Jackson pick his nose??
out of a magazine
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